About Me

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Saving Light at Midnight, Part 2

Below is the ending of Part 1 of the story...

While inside the cocoon, I heard something like an engine on my left side. A tan minivan pulled up. I slowly took the cover off and the driver rolled down his window.  With the warmest and nicest smile, he said, “I can’t stand to see anyone out here in this weather,” and asked if he could take me somewhere. I have been told never to ride with strangers since I was a child, so that was the first thing that popped into my mind. However, the Lord, also knowing my thoughts allowed me to see  a baby’s car seat and toys strewn all over. I reasoned to myself, “He’s a family man, he has kids…he has to be okay.” I got in the van and held the lock up from instantly locking and then held the door handle in case I needed to bolt out. Hanging on the rear-view mirror was a cross; then I exhaled back in the seat and let go of the door handle and arrived to safety. How I managed to walk was a miracle. I don’t know to this day why I did not ask him to take me to the emergency room, but I entered a hot dormitory which had excessive heat all the time. Having come into such heat from such frigid conditions presented another host of problems…but that is for part two of the story.

Part 2

After feeling like the frigid temperatures outside would kill me from overexposure, somehow, I made it to my room. We always had excessive heat...90+ degrees inside during the winter. As cold as it gets in upstate New York, that is really okay. We have windows that open. I knocked on the door and was met by my crew who often hung out in my room to do homework or have a meeting about someone's life. My friends saw my condition which was rough. I was shivering, scared, and somewhat traumatized by the night. I think back on that moment and tears well up in my eyes now. They immediately went to work on me like I was their patient in the ER. They didn't exactly know what to do, but they peeled me out of my clothes because I could barely move. With every passing second, I began to swell. My long fingers resembled resembled those Vienna sausages in the can. The trunk of my body was the only well-protected part, but my legs, arms, face, ears, and fingers were bad. My toes were like sausages and I was quickly turning into kielbasa. I thought I would explode out of my skin it was so tight and excruciatingly painful. 

I knew I was in trouble. None of us in the room could remember those three numbers 9-1-1. One friend with a car offered to drive me next door to the hospital and I went into a fit being so shaken. Another friend was on the phone with someone in the ER. My roommate who was a nursing student did her internship there. My friend, now thundering at the person in the ER, began to yell, "Well can you hypothetically tell me what to do? Suppose hypothetically, that someone, hypothetically got frostbite. How would you hypothetically help them?!!!!?" Forget it! If God did not intervene, I would not have made it. We could not get any real answers or hypothetical answers because diagnosis was not allowed over the phone. All I knew at that point was that the cold almost killed me and now the extreme heat is destroying me on the inside. I need to get myself cold again. I ran cold water and just put my fingers under the faucet. Then the stabbing, burning pain subsided a little. The toilet was too little to jump in...so a friend ran the cold water in the shower, and tub and I plopped in and the pains decreased to 10, then 9, then 8 and I just sat there in cold water for a long time. Then slowly I began to warm up the water to lukewarm. Then I got dressed and got into bed shivering again, but now safe. I don't know what would have happened if no one stretched out her hand to help me. I couldn't help myself.

The Mandate


The Lord does not let me forget this incident. He replays it in my heart. Every time he does, I don't feel the pain, but the desperation of the hour. In the New Testament book of John in the Bible, we see a story in chapter 11 of a man whom Jesus loved named Lazarus. His family called for Jesus when he was sick, but Jesus delayed, and he died. The scriptures make it clear that the Lord loved Lazarus and his sisters whom he often visited in Bethany. The scene was one of mourning, lament, despair as the people mourned their friend and brother. It seemed as though Jesus came too late. When he arrived and heard everyone weeping, he too wept, but wept fully knowing what he was about to do. He told Martha, and I paraphrase, "Only believe, and you shall see the glory of God." They were not able to grasp the fact that Jesus was about to call Lazarus from the grave. Jesus told them to remove the stone, then He cried, "Lazarus, come forth!" Then out comes Lazarus from the grave!!! He could not walk properly because he was bound hand and foot. He must have hopped?? His face was also swaddled. He couldn't ask for help. He might not have been able to even see. He could not do anything for himself. But Jesus spoke life into his death and he was resurrected from the dead and lived.

What did Jesus do seeing this bound man risen from the grave? He told those around, "Loose him, and let him go." Jesus just raised Lazarus from the grave! He could have just snapped his finger for the clothes to come off, but he told everyone in his vicinity to loose him, touch him...I know he probably stinketh, but unwrap him! He might not look good underneath, but don't be ashamed of him...loose him so he can walk into the giftings I deposited into his life...loose him so he can talk! Loose him so that he can learn to feed himself, loose him so that he can dine with me at my table. Loose him so that I may glorify my name through his life. Let him go! 

Call to Discipleship

God is calling us to do more than proclaim His word, or help one to repeat a prayer. As He tells me, as He reminds me, He calls us to make disciples. To go the extra mile to meet that one who He calls into fellowship with Him. It is one thing for those on the outside to come into this new life with Jesus. But, when they come in, who will help them? Who will handle them, teach them...even feed them until they can feed themselves in God's word? We have a job to do. We, (I) have to be willing to get our (my) hands a little dirty. We have to be willing to smell the stench of sin, but know that the righteousness of Christ is sufficient to break every chain...to show love to the person while hating the sin, and believe God for deliverance.

I thank God for not allowing me to forget that once upon a time, I could not help myself. I had to be willing to allow others to help me. I had to be willing to be exposed a bit so that I may be cleansed and clothed in proper garments of thanksgiving and praise. I didn't have time for my roommate to graduate from nursing school so that she could learn every proper procedure, she just had to jump in and trust God. I didn't have time for anyone to get it together, find themselves, feel better about life...I was dying so to speak, and in agony having just been rescued from the cold outer elements of midnight. Having come into such an extremely different environment, my body could not handle the immediate and drastic change. Some people may adapt more quickly, but I was shattered. However, little by little, I warmed up and could later walk by myself. I needed some hand-holding, but eventually, I was able to walk alone. I was badly bruised for a while, but my bruises healed. Spiritually speaking, the same thing occurs as I dine with Jesus on His truth in His word...the Bible. Old things pass away and all things become new with Jesus.  

Lazarus did not run around naked...we can safely assume that someone had to help him clothe himself again. Someone had to help him get into his proper garments. Later on in John chapter 12, we read that Lazarus was one of the people feasting at supper time with Jesus. Many came to see Jesus and also Lazarus who he raised from the dead. Because he lived, many Jews believed on Jesus and God was glorified. 

God is glorified every time someone chooses to accept the forgiveness of God by believing that Jesus Christ is the son of God who died on a cross to pay the ultimate price for every wrong thing we have done and still do, and to give us new life, eternal life, forever and ever. 

I do not know where you are in your spirituality, your walk with God, or without God, but I pray that you know that God loves you. He created you divinely for a purpose on earth and wants you to be with Him forever.  Even when your body dies, your soul will be at rest with Him.

Some reading who know the Lord Jesus Christ, as your best friend, your Savior, your healer, your love, your everything can trust that He is calling us to come up a little higher. He will undo everything that hinders love in our hearts so he can flood our hearts and we can pour His love into others who do not yet know that He is good.

Lord bless you!
Sis. Stacy

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Saving Light at Midnight



The righteous cry, and the LORD hears,
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
Psalm 34:17


On a dark night…a cold night…a frigid night, I was driving to work at the community newspaper in upstate, New York. I worked the night police beat. That position lasted for heartbeat, but I was in training and had to pay my dues.

Night police means that work starts late in the evening and ends after midnight. On this night, the snow was piled high, there wasn’t a person, a snowplow, a police officer—nobody was on the road, except me of course, on my way to work despite the warnings not to be out unless it was absolutely necessary. Since I had already missed a day or two that week because of the bad weather, I knew I had to go. The wind chill was below zero, but I wore many layers for this climate in case I had to be outside. My green Volkswagon Dasher was a hornet. It was abounding in heat, warmed up well and there was no indication that anything was wrong. While driving around and around on the ramp, my car coughed, and coughed. I said, “Oh no!! I began to pray and asked the Lord, “Please let me make it off this ramp!” as it sounded like it would cut off any minute. Perhaps I didn’t set my sight high enough, because it coughed all the way around and then down the ramp. At the end of the ramp, I dug the steering wheel hard to the right and, boom! That was it. The green hornet died.

There I was, at least a quarter mile from my room which was next to the city hospital. There were no cell phones in those days, or at least, I did not yet have one. The temperature in the car fell faster than the snow hit the ground. I always ride prepared with emergency equipment, flares, extra covering, change of clothes, spare tire. So I ran outside to go to the trunk, but dropped my keys and had to take off my glove to grasp them. I screeched as the icy air went through my right hand and could no longer move or mobilize my fingers to grasp anything. I managed to open the trunk and took out grandma’s emergency quilt and wrapped myself as much as I could, but it was like wrapping myself with plastic wrap in that kind of cold. I couldn’t stand out exposed long enough to grab or light the flares. I ran back to the driver’s seat hoping somehow, “Surely, God is going to help me out of this.” I saw the show Touched By An Angel so many times where a character put the keys into the ignition and the car just started. I believed in miracles! After trying again, and again, there were no sparks, no sound, nothing to indicate that the car had a drop of power left. I began to shiver all over trying not to bite my lip.

Like the story of the lepers in 2 Kings 3 in the Bible, I figured, “If I stay here in the car, I will suffer hypothermia in minutes and my body will began to shut down and freeze. If I try to walk back to my room, I might suffer hypothermia and freeze, but at least I’m going out fighting. Why stay here lest I die!”  Understanding the kind of cold I was up against, I jogged in the car and rubbed everything together as fast as I could to generate some friction and heat, then I rewrapped myself and got out the car running for my life! I stiffened with every heavy step like the tin man that just ran out of oil from the Wizard of Oz. Then I stepped and plunged my right foot and part of my leg into a hole of slushy ice water. My boots were not water-resistant like I thought. Stabbing knife pains shot through my feet. As I hobbled back to the car, every step was more painful than the last. I could no longer feel that I had toes, it felt like I only had a nub for a foot. I got back in the driver’s seat hoping for a miracle. I covered myself in grandma’s quilt and began to pray and tried not to cry because I was afraid my tears would freeze, but I couldn’t help it. I knew Jesus accepted the prayer, “Lord remember me,” from the thief on the cross and I had asked Him a lot more than that.

There were still no cars, snow plows, police, no one outside. I could see my dorm, and the hospital next door to it, but I couldn’t get to it! After some time passed realizing the gravity of the situation, I knew I was in trouble being wet and shivering violently and uncontrollably. I figured that I would write a note while I’m conscious to whoever would find me frozen. I tried to maneuver my fingers but could not. My right hand was still pretty bad.

This was the most ironic thing. I was supposed to be covering the night’s newsbeat and slowly becoming a sad evening story. I pulled the quilt over my head, bundled up and talked to God again, and then began to cry. I had already made peace with the Lord, that was no problem. I knew that whatever happened, I might end up seeing God sooner than I thought. It was okay with me…but I just didn’t want to go out like that, cold, alone on the side of the road. I thought about life and dreams, what I wished to do, and just didn’t see the point in going home. As I pondered these things, two of the brightest lights I had seen approached. I remember almost feeling the light on my back before seeing it in my rearview mirror. It was so brilliant, yet the light seemed to illuminate from the inside of the car out strangely. As the light came closer and closer, I shoved the quilt back over my head. I didn’t know for certain whether I was transitioning to Heaven, or whether extraterrestrial beings…nevermind. Suddenly, the car became pitch black and I could feel the instant chill as though one can differentiate between -3 and -7 degrees or whatever the temperature dropped to.

While inside the cocoon, I heard something like an engine on my left side. A tan minivan pulled up. I slowly took the cover off and the driver rolled down his window.  With the warmest and nicest smile, he said, “I can’t stand to see anyone out here in this weather,” and asked if he could take me somewhere. I have been told never to ride with strangers since I was a child, so that was the first thing that popped into my mind. However, the Lord, also knowing my thoughts allowed me to see  a baby’s car seat and toys strewn all over. I reasoned to myself, “He’s a family man, he has kids…he has to be okay.” I got in the van and held the lock up from instantly locking and then held the door handle in case I needed to bolt out. Hanging on the rearview mirror was a cross; then I exhaled back in the seat and let go of the door handle and arrived to safety. How I managed to walk was a miracle. I don’t know to this day why I did not ask him to take me to the emergency room, but I entered a hot dormitory which had excessive heat all the time. Having come into such heat from such frigid conditions presented another host of problems…but that is for part two of the story.  
My Angel 
That man who pulled alongside me was not only an angel, but a mediator who took me from point A to point B. I could see that place of safety. I could see the hospital from the car, but I couldn’t get to it. I couldn’t attain to it. I had the desire, the willpower, and even tried to get there on my own, but had no strength, means, or power to do what I desperately needed to do. 

My angel who came to me was preceded by brilliant light. When I saw the light, I knew that everything would be okay, however, there was also an element of fear. When I realized that he came to save me and not to kill me—I responded and said yes to his invitation to take me to a safe place where I would be covered from impending death.

All of my coverings could not keep me warm. They failed miserably just like we all have done wrong things, failed miserably, or have done good deeds, and religious works. Those things do not earn us a ticket into Heaven. They don’t secure a place of peace with God. Our righteousness is as filthy rags, quilts before a Holy God, but he provided a way that we can be restored to fellowship with the God of our creation, and our Creator the way He always intended.

However, in order for us to know Him, to be everything He created us to be, and to know that we are secure after this physical body dies, there had to be some way to bridge the gap, rescue, and restore us to God. God loved us so much that he gave His only son to suffer, die, and be resurrected to Heaven being the bridge, or the door through which any man, woman, boy or girl can enter and receive His forgiveness and be made new. 

The man who drove alongside of me could not force me into the van, although he knew I would not make it alone on my own. I had to make a decision to accept the invitation and  join him on the journey.  

The Lord doesn’t force Himself into our lives. He gives us a free will and the opportunity to say, “Yes Lord, come into my life, forgive me of my sins. I give you my life.” The wages of our sin is death, but Jesus came that we might have life and more abundantly. It can be hard to comprehend how God gave up His only son to die on a cross to take our place, but it is true, unconditional love. The alternative is eternal darkness outside of the presence of God—a living hell. Hell is not a place of two-horned red creatures. Hell is the absolute absence of God, the absence of love, and the absence of all that is good, where one will always remember that he/she had the opportunity to say yes, but instead said no. It is a place that was not created for you or for me. Why go there?

An Invitation

I pray that wherever you are in your spiritual journey, you will consider accepting Jesus into your heart if you have not already. He longs for you to know Him and wants to be your friend and your everything. He loves you and has good plans for you on earth and wants to be with you for eternity when our earthen vessel die. We have a body, soul and spirit. Our body is the house for our soul to live in. When you ask the Lord to come into your life, He gives us a new heart and new mind. We are a new creation! The old things, old habits, old stinkin’ thinkin’ are transformed as we renew our minds in His word, the Bible and see how we were created by His divine plan, divine design, and are invited to know Him! That is incredible! He said that anyone who comes to Him, He will no wise cast out. Then we are sealed by His presence of the Holy Spirit which is Jesus to us on earth. I cannot convey it all, and you don’t have to understand it all, but if you taste and see that God is good, you will find that you have found everything your soul has longed for: unconditional love for who you are, not just what you do, peace even in the midst of life’s trials, joy that is not dependent upon the circumstances of life. We have trials and struggles as I found myself on that cold night, but one thing was certain for me…I knew that if my body froze to death and died, my soul would be with my Heavenly Father, safe and secure, not because I attended church every Sunday (because at that time, I did not attend often at all, just a few times a year), but because I received the most precious gift, the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

Ask God yourself the questions of your heart. You don’t have to be eloquent, in a church building, or any special place to pray. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you, then you will know that what I am sharing is true for yourself! 

Everything on earth that can be shaken is being shaken. Only those things that are not shaken will remain. It is midnight in America. The state of our country and those all across the world are searching for peace, safety, more prosperity with an inner knowledge that we are on a downward spiral we cannot get out of. No one has an answer or solution to fix the problems of this life. In God we place our trust. He is the one who is our security and His word and promises to us who believe are forever. Maybe you have not yet made a decision about the invitation He extends to you. Will you pray with me.

Dear Heavenly Father, I may have lived outside in the cold looking in. My life is not exactly how I thought it should be. I don’t even know if you are there. Would you reveal to me that you are real? If there is any truth in what I just read, please come to me and forgive me for the wrong I’ve done that caused you to give your son Jesus to die for me. Please make my heart your home now and for all eternity. I humbly ask this in the name of Jesus, amen!

If you have prayed that prayer from your heart and want to learn more, or if you just want to learn more about God and who Jesus is, you can go to the links listed on the page. There was a point when I questioned God in my journey. I can assure you that He is not taken by surprise by your belief or unbelief. Investigate the facts for yourself. You don’t have to have lived the most horrible life, or the best life to come to God. Anyone, whosoever will come to God can come to Him. The most important thing is to grow in this new relationship as you would in any relationship on earth. It requires some time. We come to know God through His word, the Holy Bible. Get a translation that you understand like, the New International Version, or New Living Translation to get started on this journey. Read the New Testament starting with the book of Matthew, or start with the book of John and ask God to give you understanding. Then, it is important that you find a place of worship that preaches from the Bible to grow with others in the faith who will spur you on, where you will feel His manifested presence which I cannot explain, and where you can grow in Bible classes and learn about God more, understand His will for your life, and who you are now. Don’t forget, You are a New Creation, tell somebody! Some will think that your decision is cool and others will not. Even those closest to you may not fully understand that you no longer desire or want to do the things you used to do.  It is alright. Your life will change because God is changing you day by day. Stay with it as you would any new relationship. It takes a willingness to grow and know one another.

Please let me know if I can help you on the way or point you in the right direction.


God Bless you!

In Christ,
Sis. Stacy